It came so fast. It sounds cliche to say, but it seems like we were just starting to potty train yesterday. Somehow your needing me has lessened and you have gained independence, my attitude, and the immense desire to explore new things.
You’re smart, kind, love animals, and you can make me smile just by being in the same room. I know you’re going to make friends, even though you’re scared. People are going to love you, because you’re impossible not to love. You’re going to teach a lot of people about dinosaurs this year, whether they care to hear it or not, and that’s okay – just keep being yourself, baby boy.
Tomorrow as you get ready for school we will brush your teeth and hair, put food in your belly (because I know you won’t eat breakfast unless I am watching), put on your carefully chosen first day of school outfit, grab the backpack we searched hours for online, until you decided on the perfect one, take photos, and be out the door. I will tell you to have a good day, be kind, make sure you go to the bathroom in time, and if you need me to tell your teacher to call. You will say you love me, give me a kiss, and run off to your new day. I know your teacher won’t call because you won’t need me – and that is a hard pill to swallow.
The things I will be thinking, but won’t say … I pray that you make friends, I hope you’re not scared and that you love your teacher. I hope that if you fall and get hurt that someone will comfort you, the way I would. I won’t tell you that I will probably cry in the car on my way home, because the house is so quiet without you there, or that the dog is going to pout the entire time you’re at school.
I will be watching the clock tomorrow as the day slowly passes by, waiting for the minute to see your smiling face and hearing that sweet voice telling me that you loved your first day. I probably won’t breathe until I know that it was a good day and you’re excited again for tomorrow.
Sweet boy, there is so much to learn, and oh will you learn! Of course, you are going to learn about English, reading, math, art, and science, etc. but you are going to learn the most about life. You are going to learn for the first time that you’re actually not the center of everyone’s world, although you’ll always be mommy’s. You’ll learn that people will say mean things for no reason, not everyone is kind, and life isn’t fair. You’re going to learn all of the things I have been able to protect you from thus far in your 5 short years.
But you will also learn that there are people who will give you the shirt of their back, there are people who will cheer for you daily and want to see you win. You are going to learn that when you are good to people, most people will be good to you and you will soon find your forever friends … the ones that you will walk across the high school stage within 2031 and will forever leave an impression on who you are.
Tomorrow you will begin a journey into becoming the amazing person I know God has intended you to be and I will become a little bit more of a bystander, as other adults start to impact your life to help shape who will become.
While I know you’re probably nervous and excited for tomorrow, I just want you to have fun. Don’t forget to play hard, laugh until your belly aches, and most of all – save all your kisses for mommy when you get home <3
I love you eBaby,